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  • things to update after a legal name change!

    goawayterfs

    • Social security card
    • Driver’s license
    • Passport
    • Birth certificate
    • Employer HR
    • Bank account
    • Credit card company
    • Car insurance
    • Health insurance
    • Utilities
    • Cell phone account
    • Voter registration
    • Your school
    • Professional organizations (for nursing, bar, teaching, etc.)
    • Doctor’s office & other health specialists
    • TV & internet
    • Paypal

    *Please add to this list if you can think of anything else!!!

    quakerboy

    #1 thing I notice trans people forget to change after just a social name change is their voicemail recording!

    the-jennnster

    Something about the way bibliopunk/punk academia is treated on here Bugs Me and I think it can be best summed up as this:

    You can't just throw the "punk" descriptor onto whatever you like and call it an aesthetic

    Punk is not an aesthetic

    Punk is a mindset, it's a philosophy-- it's a rebellion against societal systems

    When I say bibliopunk, I don't mean sweater vests and old library photos and quotes from classics.

    Bibliopunk, to me, a punk librarian, is about freedom of information. It's about making sure everyone and anyone can have the resources they need to learn, whatever that means for them. It's no late fees and fighting against censorship. It's defunding the police and funding community resource centers that specialize in making sure there's a place where people can go to ask for help, to read books on any subject they can think of, to connect with events and organizations that exist to help THEM. It's about making zines and learning how to bookbind, because fuck the idea that traditional publishing and Amazon are the only people that can make something a book.

    Punk academia, which is used colloquially here, is related to this-- it's saying fuck the academic systems that keep out the poor, the people of color, and the disabled. Fuck your Ivy Leagues, education is whatever the hell you make it. College should be free, classes should be accessible WITHOUT being forced to give up all of your personal financial and health information, curriculums need to include as many varying perspectives as they can because fuck the idea that a cishet abled white man is the authority on any given topic.

    Bibliopunk, punk academia, and any other Tumblr "aesthetic" with the punk descriptor is not just a moodboard of photos you stole from Pinterest.

    Because what's more punk than a public library?

    izukuwus

    Still reeling from the realization that bullet journaling was essentially created to be a disability aid and got legit fuckin gentrified

    izukuwus

    Like I'm at work and don't have the time to properly organize my thoughts atm but like.

    -bullet journalling was invented by a man with a learning disability (99% sure it was ADHD but his website now just says learning disability so I can't be 100%) as a system for organizing his life/way to work WITH his learning disability

    -the general concept is bullet point the important things you need to do and use a simple system of symbols to mark whether it's done, rescheduled, cancelled, etc. with very little fanfare, keeping it all in one notebook so you know where to easily find the information at a glance

    -people pick it up and it starts getting popular

    -bullet journaling becomes an aesthetic movement largely populated by white neurotypicals

    -bullet journaling has turned into creating an extremely pretty notebook that has some function, but largely depends on complicated decoration and aesthetic function that takes more time to set up than is tenable for the people it was created for

    -new entries to bullet journaling feel pressure to shop at particular stores, use particular brands, purchase lots of stationery purely for its aesthetic value, and prioritize the artistry of the pages rather than the information being stored on them

    -people who would massively benefit from the original system can only really find information on it from members of the aesthetic movement. There is now a barrier to entry for ppl with ADHD and other similar conditions, as bullet journaling now requires a focus and motivation to start that these same people often lack or struggle to maintain consistently

    -bullet journaling is no longer a disability aid and has become an aesthetic movement largely for middle class white neurotypicals, pushing out the people who the system was created for to begin with

    bibookmerm

    This is the original guide from the person who made bullet journalling. Super simple. Not at all high maintenance.

    It was eye-opening to rewatch this after getting used to bullet journal meaning "work of highly decorative art you might journal in if it doesn't detract from the decoration" everywhere online.

    ankewehner

    It's ADD. Ryder Carroll, who developed the Bullet Journal method to suit his brain, has ADD. (I grabbed the book from my shelf, it's mentioned in the introduction.)

    And yeah, it's frustrating. I use my bullet journal close to how it's described there (different bullets/symbols, and a little bit of colour marking to make things more easily findable), and whenever I went looking for ideas to try out to organise stuff, if I found anything, it was buried under mountains of fancy layouts.

    I always point people to the introductory video when I recommend it.

    nanamikentoseyebags

    this picrew is way too cute, i had to share🥺 just me and kento enjoying an early spring morning 😭

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    no pressure tags: @shamelessperfectionhideout @afortoru @softsatoru @luckimoon @sokivv @a-nuisance-called-sam + everyone who wants to join ✨

    a-nuisance-called-sam

    I made two; 1 with mitsuya and the other with satan from obey me. Oh and thanks for tagging me!

    image
    image

    Tagging: @kannra21 @virtue-and-beneviolence @castle4rebis and anyone who wants to!

    kannra21

    @a-nuisance-called-sam I made luci and oikawa 😂 thank u for the tag!! ❤️

    image
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    Tagging: @toorumi @property-of-diavolo @nerdy-talks @mrsmorgenstern @devildomditzy @kimikos-random-dead-acc

    haikyubts

    Lee Junho being okay with not being able to hold Youngwoo's hand the moment she says it's very uncomfortable for her. It's Youngwoo who suggests holding hands, or trying to, at least, even if for those 57 seconds. And Junho's endearing, sweet sweet smile when she says that agrees to it.

    Junho saying it's okay when she barely pulls a thirty second hand-holding and saying it's okay, we can hold hands next time.

    Lee my-feelings-aren't-temporary Junho who is distressed at finding out the story about the Stonewall path and immediately suggests stopping to walk and going somewhere else because my man's brain stops working anytime someone suggests pulling him and Youngwoo apart 😭😭😭

    Lee Junho noticing that Youngwoo is being very uncomfortable in the courtroom and noticing the way she keeps fiddling with her hands.

    Lee Junho who knows he still likes (loves) Youngwoo but doesn't laugh at Youngwoo's innocent question of "Do you still like me?" And instead answers with a "Yes, I do", albeit he cannot resist teasing her by telling her she hurt his feelings and making sure she knows he's teasing.

    Lee Junho who perhaps finds it a little funny that Youngwoo has a folder of date ideas but being delighted in the fact that the list is long 😭😭😭

    Lee Junho who asks if taking her home is written in the file or not, and suggests with starting something as simple as that to make her comfortable and to have long talks and get to know her better.

    LEE JUNHO WHO TELLS HIS FRIENDS YOUNGWOO AND HIM ARE ON A DATE AND THAT SHE'S A LAWYER!!! A PROUD BF!!!

    LEE JUNHO, WHO, DESPITE BEING TIPSY/DRUNK, IS FUCKING ENRAGED TO FIND OUT PEOPLE THINK IT'S SYMPATHY THAT HE HAS FOR YOUNGWOO AND NOT LOVE. NICE AND KIND LEE JUNHO WHO FUCKING LOSES IT ENOUGH TO THROW HANDS WHILE BEING PLASTERED BECAUSE HE HASN'T ONCE LOOKED AT HER IN SYMPATHY BUT AS A COMPLETE WOMAN HE TRULY LOVES.

    Lee Junho who understands why Youngwoo took the case and doesn't put her feelings down. Who listens when Youngwoo says "when you have a disability, I think merely liking someone is not enough. because even if I say it's love, if other people say it's not, then it's not."

    Lee Junho responds with a sincere "Even if other people say it's not, if you say it's love, it's love."

    LEE JUNHO WHO DOESN'T MISS A BEAT IN RESPONDING WITH "YES." WHEN YOUNGWOO SAYS "LOVING ME IS HARD. BUT ARE YOU STILL GOING TO?"

    Lee Junho who soooooo wants to kiss her and steps in closer when the lights go off but comes to his senses and takes a step back when the lights are on, because he knows Youngwoo might be uncomfortable and might not want to be touched/kissed.

    LEE JUNHO WHO WAITS UNTIL YOUNGOO PUTS HER HANDS ON HIS SHIRT AND LOOKS HIM IN THE EYE AND GIVES HER CONSENT AND KISSING HER ONLY THEN.

    Lee Junho who doesn't laugh at Youngwoo's inexperience about love and kissing and instead tells her tips on how to kiss better so that she's comfortable in doing so.

    Just...just Lee Junho y'all.

    Just Lee Junho not being a green flag but an entire fucking forest. Lee Junho, a man written by a woman.

    An ordinary, middle-class guy with an ordinary job who is understanding, sincere, loving and committed to his woman. The man of every woman's dream.

    This is the reason why everyone is nuts for him.

    Just Lee Junho y'all.

    homunculus-argument

    Imagine if you met someone who can't eat watermelon. Not that they're allergic or unable somehow, but they just haven't figured out how to do that. So you're like "what the hell do you mean? it works just like eating anything else, you open your mouth, sink your teeth in, take a bite and chew. If you can bite, chew and swallow, you should be able to eat a watermelon."

    And they agree that yes, they do know how to eat, in theory. The problem is the watermelon. Surely, if they figured out where to start, they'd figure out how to do it, but they have no clue how to get started with it.

    This goes back and forth. No, it's not an emotional issue, they're not afraid of the watermelon. They can eat any other fruit, other sweet things, and other watery things ("it's watery?" they ask you). Is it the colour? Do they have a problem eating things that are green on the outside and red on the inside?

    "It's red on the inside?"

    Wait, they've never seen the inside? At this point you have to ask them how, exactly, they eat the watermelon. So to demonstrate, they take a whole, round, uncut watermelon, and try to bite straight into it. Even if they could bite through the crust, there's no way to get human jaws around it.

    "Oh, you're supposed to cut it first. You cut the crust open and only chew through the insides."

    And they had no idea. All their life this person has had no idea how to eat a watermelon, despite of being told again and again and again that it's easy, it's ridiculous to struggle with something so simple, there's no way that someone just can't eat a watermelon, how can you even mange to be bad at something as fucking simple as eating watermelon.

    If someone can't do something after being repeatedly told to "just do it", there might be some key component missing that one side has no idea about, and the other side assumed was so obvious it goes without mention.

    therainstheyaredropping

    Yep.

    https://drmaciver.substack.com/p/how-to-do-everything had a nice list of additional examples like this, with (non-)obvious major insights with regard to opening stitched bags, cleaning your bathroom floor, using a search engine, catching a ball, pinging somebody, proving a theorem, playing sudoku, passing as “normal”, improving your writing, generating novel ideas, and solving your problem.

    If you’d asked me six months ago how to get better at something, I’d probably have pointed you to how to do hard things. I still think this is a good approach and you should do it, but I now think it’s the wrong starting point and I’ve been undervaluing small insights. [...]

    I think my revised belief is that if you are stuck at how to get better at something, spend a little while assuming there’s just some trick to it you’ve missed. You can try to generate the trick yourself, but it’s probably easier to learn it by observing someone else being good at the thing, asking them some questions, and seeing if you have any lightbulb moment.

    hergan416

    My fiance played the clarinet when he was in school. When he was first learning to play, he rented an instrument from the school to learn on. He was the last chair clarinet, had been for years, because he could not make notes that required the register key. For years, they kept making him do embrature exercises and he started to get a few notes, with lots of effort. Eventually he had to get private lessons to stay in band.

    Every time he tells me this story, his frustration by this point in the story, years later, is evident. He still sounds frustrated by it, despite all the time that passed. Teachers had been giving him crap for years because he hadn't been making much progress with the instrument.

    When he got to the private instructor, she acknowledged his frustration, and asked him to try to play for her. He did, and she saw all he was doing. She then did something no one else had done before. She asked him to put his mouthpiece on a different clarinet and try to play the same notes. Like magic, it worked. She looked at the clarinet he had been using and found that the school's clarinet needed it's pads replaced.

    He went from last chair to first chair nearly overnight, having been taught far more techniques than typically taught at that age just to overcome the broken instrument preventing him from making noise.

    Sometimes you don't need to brute force a problem. Sometimes your clarinet is just broken.

    reasonsilovemywife

    Last thing to blog for the day then I need to pretend to be productive.  Little Miss has multiplication she’s still struggling with.

    Anyway - I was promoted at work and asked to fix the injury and accident problem in a particular warehouse.  I was “the safety guy” and I was really really good at my job. When I went in I had to find out “why are these folks having more injuries per 100,000 hours than the rest of our facilities” and so I dug in.  This facility was having 2 - 3 injuries reported A DAY.  

    Was it the people? Nope, same hiring pool as others.  Hours? Nope, almost every station has the same hours.  Lets check the training for our new hires.  Let me see their training packs.  “Uhh... let me find them”  Excuse me? You should be training them you should have them here with you. 

    Okay, what are the four options for loading a package?  “ummm....”  DUDE you’re supposed to be training these folks and you don’t know.  Who trained you?  “I never loaded before”  Okay fine, who trained you how to be a trainer.  “no one” ... 

    See where this is going?  So now all of a sudden I’m holding training classes for the top-level management team all the way down to the front-line supervisors to make sure THEY know the job that they’re supposed to be teaching to others.  We broke it all down to the very basics and slowly, day by day.  But you know what?  The first few months, reported on job injuries went up because we raised the awareness and stopped management team from hiding the injuries and just giving a couple days off.  We’re reporting them, recording them, getting treatment and care where needed.  

    Then we went a week with no injuries.  
    Then a month
    Darn broke out streak.  Why? What happened, where was the breakdown?
    Another week.
    A month
    WE MADE IT  A YEAR 
    Then another six months
    Then I got promoted again and replicated this across the country and that original operation went nearly 3 years without an injury.  

    So start at the very beginning if you’re having trouble with something or having trouble teaching someone something.  If they want to write, they have to be able to hold the pencil.  

    Unhinged S2 theories

    misty-caligula

    image

    Okay let’s get unhinged for a second. And take this to logical conclusions.

    https://www.tumblr.com/misty-caligula/716477558946971648/this-is-my-big-one-for-s2e6-and-its-the-thing

    I’ve already talked (a lot) about how I genuinely believe that someone is manipulating Lott, and that she’s been secretly taken off her meds.

    So who? And why? At this point I’m leaning towards a theory that the cult is becoming self-aware, and is actively growing outside of Lott’s direction. I think there’s a inner circle below her (I think Lisa might be in it, I think that drum circle guy from ep6 is in it) that’s started to plot and scheme, that’s maybe more aware of Lott’s situation than we think, and is actively trying to push her to become the antler queen once more.

    Do they NEED to know about what happened in the wild? No. Not necessarily. She could just be… an inspiring, powerful person they feel is not living up to her potential.

    Or…

    Did she blab? Did she break the oath? Did someone get access to her psych notes? Did someone learn things she’s said in therapy? Did she talk about specifics? While she was in Switzerland?

    Or…

    Did Adam ACTUALLY get more access to Shauna than we think? Was it a big misdirect to have Jeff blackmailing them… to cover the fact that Adam was genuinely a plant? DID HE ACTUALLY GET ACCESS TO HER DIARIES and we just ASSUMED it was Jeff???

    Is moustache cop an incompetent idiot? Or …. is he not trying to get a conviction? Is he just trying to get into Shauna’s head? Is HE a plant??

    Is WALTER a citizen detective who just wants to learn things about stuff…? OR is he a plant, a perfect connection for Misty, down to the showtunes.

    THE SHOWTUNES THO okay so follow with me… Misty INSTANTLY picks up on the showtunes.

    Misty’s SO sus on Walter from the first moment she sees him. She doesn’t miss much when it comes to like, facts and stuff, and she clocks him the moment she HEARS his voice. And he’s OBSESSED with her (like Adam’s obsessed with Shauna!) and okay so they’re so similar, so weirdly in tune, but Misty is uncomfortable because she doesn’t click with similar. The last time she did Crystal died.

    Then they’re in the car and he brings out the showtunes and Misty smells a rat. She IMMEDIATELY clocks that he knows her too well, it’s just too much, too fast, and too big of a coincidence. And he tells her that he just really likes showtunes, it’s all just a misunderstanding, and she goes “Well I don’t even LIKE showtunes” and he CALLS HER BLUFF AND THEN SHOWS HER ONE HE KNOWS SHE WON’T LIKE.

    HOW DOES HE KNOW??

    It comes off as a good read, as a fun moment, but HE KNOWS HER TOO WELL AND SHE KNEW IT!

    “Being a yellowjacket’s the least interesting thing about you” he says HE’S LYING HE’S A CITIZEN DETECTIVE, IT’S AN INCREDIBLY INTERESTING THING ABOUT HER!

    “It was like 30 years ago” HE’S LYING HE’S A CITIZEN DETECTIVE HE DOESN’T MAKE THESE KINDS OF ERRORS, HE KNOWS IT WAS EXACTLY 25 YEARS AGO!!!!

    image

    And then and then he’s like, sending her messages after she’s already told him to go away which ISN’T LIKE HIM he didn’t even argue when she told him to fuck off AND the drum circle guy is like, PUSHING IT he’s like “Hmmmmm had a breakup??? hmmm?? what about that walter guy? hmmmm??” and like… as SOON as she mentions Nat they’re like “YOU KNOW NAT?? Please, tell us every tiny detail you know about this woman while we sit here and listen intently.”

    *takes a breath*

    I feel like I’m going mad. There’s too many data points and too many unanswered questions. Too many coincidences. And I think… that that is the point.

    In the teen timeline nothing is as it seems, there is no solid grounding. You’re meant to be able to slip whatever your interpretation is onto the top of it, you’re meant to have your expectations both met and refuted all at once. You’re meant to question your own reality.

    I mean….

    Laura was ALWAYS going to die in that plane, right? Right? Then why did we think she wouldn’t?

    The baby was NEVER going to make it. Right? Then why did we allow them to give us half an ep where we really thought it had?

    Jackie was ALWAYS going to die and there were people who 100% were waiting for some twist to save her til the moment they ate her.

    This show is just really really good at making us question what’s right in front of us in the teen timeline.

    Why … the hell… would we expect different in the adult? Why WOULD it be all just normal and easily explained coincidences? Why would it be just trauma responses and nothing more? Why CAN’T it be a malicious conspiracy? But then.. why WOULD it be a malicious conspiracy? Neither makes total sense, neither perfectly fits, I feel like we’re missing key information. And I don’t know about you, but it’s making ME feel paranoid. And I honestly think that’s the point.

    Maybe the cult really IS a dangerous thing that’s going out of its’ way to destroy them all. Maybe its trying to bring back the antler queen, maybe Lisa is evil, maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe…

    Or maybe it’s just putting 1+1 together and having trauma add another 1 without realising and getting 3. Because that’s the REAL shit, that’s the nightmare of being un-fun mentally ill, is that once you stop being 100% confident of your ability to perceive things accurately you’ll never get that certainty back. You’ll never trust another thing you think or feel ever again, and the moment you stop questioning your world it’ll make you panic and worry you’re missing something… Ask me how i know.

    At this point I’m going to just say I do not know what’s Really Going On with the cult. I am 100% confident that Lott’s being manipulated. Beyond that? … all I have is vibes and ideas and feeling adrift. I’m so impressed at this show for managing to throw me this hard and I’m unbelievably curious to see what else it has to offer.

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